Fully Explained: 7 Signs Someone Is Thinking About You Constantly

Let’s be real here: we’ve all been there. That dirty little thought that someone has been holding you captive like a song they cannot get out of their head. And you know what? Sometimes those gut instincts are not just wishful thinking.

But after all this time spent writing about relationships and the human connection, it turns out there’s a science to why we have that sneaking suspicion when someone is thinking of us. The thing is, our brains are hardwired for connection in ways modern science is only just starting to comprehend.

Now let me guide you through the genuine signs that a person thinks of you — and not about those bookish or Instagrammable phrases, but actual emotional, mental as well as behavioral signals that carries some meaning.

1. Their Action Speaks Louder Than Words

Isn’t it curious how human beings work? Non-verbal behavior is much harder to conceal when we genuinely concentrate our attention on someone.

But studies in cognitive science have shown that when we are really concentrating our thoughts on another person, these neural pathways actually become established within our brains[1]. If you know what to see, this indicates some quite clear methods.

Look at my mate, Sarah. She kept running into this guy from her workplace, in the weirdest places — grocery store three blocks away from her house, coffee shop she never goes to, even at her favorite bookstore on the other side of town.

Not your typical workplace close, mind you. He wasn’t merely present, he was almost orbiting her every time they shared a space.

Well here’s the thing, when someone is constantly thinking about you it makes way for them to be around you. So, technically yes they are not stalking you (to be clear) but their brain gets wired to notice you more than anybody else.

2. The Mirror Effect

You know that feeling when you pick up a new phrase and suddenly can’t stop using it?

Well, multiply that by about a hundred, and that’s what happens when someone can’t get you off their mind. So, it is more than just repeating words — it is like they are subconsciously wanting to align their entire essence with yours.

My colleague Mark experienced this last year. He began to adopt this distinctive Sarah hand signal whenever she made a point. Initially, it felt coincidental; then I realised he had adopted her storytelling techniques, her same timing for humour and even the way she ordered coffee. What is astounding however, was that he didn’t even know he was doing it.

During times of high focus on someone, our brains are literally rewiring themselves which creates this phenomenon of mirroring. Because when we simply think about another human, our mirror neurons fire up not just as we are watching someone[2]. Our mind hosts a simulation of that person, trying to process them with utmost detail.

Now that’s where it gets really interesting, this mirroring isn’t just an imitation. It’s about connection.

As to when a person is constantly thinking about you, he will begin to share your thoughts, get your jokes half way through and even preempt how you will respond to things. They’re not imitating your behavior on the outside; they’re beginning to experience the world in a similar way you do.

3. The Social Media Tell

We can now see, clear as day, what people really think through the transparency of the digital age, and I must say it is both illuminating and a little terrifying how much exposing there is. Basically, it is the complicated game of attention and avoidance the person under your spell plays as if their head is stuck beneath a value box.

Consider the story of my friend Jamie. Well she also said that while this guy from her writing group had liked her posts, he hadn’t just liked them – he’d almost interacted in this really specific way with them.

He would comment on pretty much the exact types of posts she cared about the most, reference conversations they had weeks prior, and find a way to watch her stories in an uncanny matter of minutes after posting (even at bizarre hours).

But listen to this, here is where it gets revealing — It has nothing to do with the number of times they have interacted.

Someone who is truly making you a part of their life and thinking about caring for you will reflect that in the quality and timing of their engagement. They are not an abstract love that likes you: they are absorbing, and even responding to your digital presence with a real awareness.

The most interesting part is when they start sharing content that’s clearly meant for your eyes. Not tagged posts or direct shares – I’m talking about those posts that perfectly align with a conversation you had last week, or that reference something only you would understand.

It’s like they’re having a conversation with you without actually having a conversation with you.

4. The Synchronicity Factor

Isn’t it interesting how if someone has you on their mind all the time, life creates these small cosmic winks. And no, I am not referring to normal coincidences — this goes well past the chance meeting of someone at Starbucks.

I really liked how Jung captured what meaningful coincidences were[3]. You see every time, when a person is having serious thoughts about you it has a strange action reaction cycle in the day to day life of yours. Almost like the universe creates these moments that feel meticulously planned but so naturally.

I want to tell you about an incident that happened with my sister just the previous month. She had been contemplating a call to an old college friend, from whom she had not heard in years. That morning she was cleaning and came across an old photo of them, it was the same day that friend messaged her later in the evening saying they had just dreamt about her.

Well, you could call that a coincidence, but synchronicities like this tend to pile up when there is a powerful mind link between individuals.

What makes this truly interesting is that often the synchronous experiences have some import (i.e. a message or meaning) associated with them. These aren’t just chance meetings; they’re poignant moments that feel like they address a question asked in the silent company of your own mind or some mild concern you are not fully aware of.

And those synchronicities multiply when someone is constantly thinking about you, forming this unseen web of connection from these supposedly random events.

5. Their Friend Channel Become Your Information Source

If someone is constantly thinking about you, their friends are often unintentional info channels. They may even reference you in conversation, inquire about your hobbies, or introduce subjects relevant to you.

Now, this is not general gossip — it’s a psychological phenomenon, because people near the person tend to feel their concentration.

This is something I have witnessed over and over again throughout my professional experience. One person will be obsessed with another, and all of a sudden the friends start acting like unofficial diplomats, feeling things out and getting intel.

6. The Energy Shift

So now lets get onto something a little wacky, but I promise you there is good science behind it. That feeling you get in your gut when you can almost feel someone before you see them? It is not your imagination running wild.

Interpersonal neurobiology, a new science that recently emerged, contends our brains even pick up on faint electromagnetic fields produced by other[4]. If a person is focusing on you deeply, it leaves an energetic pressure that is felt (without logical coherence).

I can attest to this myself in my writing workshops. There have been occasions where I could almost physically sense another person’s eyes on me, only to turn around and find out that I was correct.

You feel your body has an internal radar that senses the mental attention of other people.

This energy transition also appears in very, very subtle forms.

Perhaps you are going about your day when suddenly you feel waves of emotion that don’t seem to belong to you. Or you could have very high energy, or low energy when contemplating about certain individuals. These are not random fluctuations — they’re actually your body picking up on the energetic resonance of someone else’s thoughts.

7. The Memory Connection

This is perhaps the most impactful indicator of all, because it speaks to something inherently human — the way our brains barricade information about others who we value or find interesting.

If someone just keeps thinking about you, their memory could be sharpened to a near superhuman level of detail on the subject matter who is you.

Just think about all the data we take in each day — thousands of bits of information, conversations, experiences. There simply is not enough space in our brains for everything, and therefore they need to be very selective on what they retain, and what gets blocked out.

But when someone is obsessively thinking about you, their brain actually wires itself to develop stronger neural pathways for whatever they associate with you[5].

I recall seeing this happen with my buddy David. He could hardly remember what he had for breakfast but was able to recall what his colleague Emma wore the first day they met six months prior, the name of her childhood pet she mentioned once in passing, and even every project deadline she was racing towards. Unconsciously his brain had constructed this empyrean thorough Emma-wiki.

But here’s what makes this really interesting – it’s not just about remembering facts. When someone’s constantly thinking about you, they remember the context, the emotions, the subtle nuances of your interactions.

They might remember that you prefer your coffee with exactly two sugars, but they’ll also remember why – because of that story you told about your grandmother’s coffee ritual.

These memories are more than just recalling. You fill it in with everything you are as a human being.

The truly exciting aspect of it? They’re not even conscious on most occasions that they’re doing it. It is just the brain’s way to say “Hey, this person is important. Their essence is important; everything about them matters.”

What It All Means

Now, someone who can’t stop thinking about you is not always love or lust related. Other times, it is impact, connection or uneasiness. The important thing is what you do in the face of these signals.

If you are catching on to these signals, take a moment to reflect:

• Is this attention positive and nourishing?
• Does it resonate with what you feel and wwhat you wish to project?
• Where do you need to put up some boundaries?

Keep in mind that being on somebody’s mind isn’t necessarily a good/bad thing; what they do with those thoughts, however, will tell. Trust your gut feelings — but also keep it real.

You do not need to be a mind reader, but knowing these signs can help you deal better with the relationships. Whether it’s a romantic interest, friendship or business partnership, having insight to these dynamics allows you to respond with thoughtfulness rather than reactiveness.

And sometimes, you just need to be aware of that in order to decide who you should stay connected with (and then who is actually worth cutting out).

For Further Reading

1. Kindred Spirits Definition & 7 Signs When You Find Yours
2. 5 Spiritual Signs That Someone Is Thinking About You Sexually
3. Top 8 Signs That Define Bare Minimum in a Relationship