A Simple Self-test: Are You a Pathological Liar?

Let’s be real, we all tell lies sometimes. Maybe you’ve called in “sick” to skip work, or told someone their awful haircut looks great. That’s normal human behavior. But there’s a line between occasional fibs and something deeper — pathological lying (or compulsive lying).

The thing is, pathological lying isn’t just about the frequency of lies. It’s about lying without any real reason, making up stories just because you can. If you’re wondering whether your lying habits cross that line, you’re in the right place.

Pathological Liar Test: Take the Test

Size up your relationship with truth-telling here. For each question, pick the answer that feels most true for you:

Pathological Liar Test: Your Answers

1. Frequency and Ease of Lying — “When you tell a story, how often do you add ‘extra details’ that didn’t really happen?”

• Never — I stick to the facts
• Sometimes, but just small details
• Pretty often — it makes stories more interesting
• Almost always — it’s just how I tell stories

2. Lying Without Reason — “Have you ever caught yourself lying when there was absolutely no reason to?”

• Nope, my lies always have a purpose
• Maybe once or twice
• Yeah, it happens sometimes
• All the time — I don’t even think about it

3. Impact on Daily Life — “How has lying affected your relationships?”

• No impact — I rarely lie
• Minor issues here and there
• Created some serious problems
• It’s causing constant drama

4. Response to Being Caught — “What’s your go-to move when someone catches you in a lie?”

• Come clean and apologize
• Try to change the subject
• Add more lies to cover the first one
• Get defensive or angry

5. Emotional Connection to Lying — “How do you feel right after telling a lie?”

• Super guilty and anxious
• A bit uncomfortable
• Nothing really
• Kind of excited or satisfied

6. Story Embellishment — “Your friend tells a cool story at dinner. Later, you…”

• Retell it, giving them credit
• Share it as if it happened to you
• Tell a similar but made-up story about yourself
• Make up an even better version of their story

7. Scale of Lies — “Your lies tend to be…”

• Tiny white lies to avoid hurt feelings
• Small exaggerations about everyday stuff
• Big stories about achievements or experiences
• Elaborate tales involving multiple people and events

8. Self-Positioning in Stories — “In the stories you tell, you’re usually…”

• Just a regular person doing regular things
• Someone who had bad luck
• The victim of unfair circumstances
• The hero who saved the day

9. Lying Under Pressure — “When backed into a corner…”

• I admit the truth, even if it’s hard
• I try to avoid the situation
• I make up whatever gets me out of trouble
• I create complex explanations that sound believable

10. Pattern Recognition — “How often do people question the accuracy of your stories?”

• Never, my stories are always accurate
• Rarely, and usually about small details
• Sometimes people seem skeptical
• People often doubt what I say

11. Daily Communication — “When someone asks about your day…”

• I give a straightforward account
• I might exaggerate a bit to make it interesting
• I often create dramatic scenarios
• I have different versions for different people

12. Professional Life — “At work or school, you tend to…”

• Keep things factual and direct
• Occasionally stretch the truth about deadlines
• Make up excuses frequently
• Have elaborate explanations for everything

13. Memory and Consistency — “When retelling a story multiple times…”

• The details stay the same
• Small details might change
• The story evolves significantly
• I create completely different versions

14. Social Media Presence — “Your social media posts typically…”

• Reflect your real life accurately
• Show a slightly polished version of reality
• Present an idealized, partly fictional life
• Tell completely fabricated stories

15. Childhood Memories — “When sharing childhood memories…”

• I stick to what I actually remember
• I fill in some gaps creatively
• I blend others’ stories with mine
• I create entirely new memories

Understanding Pathological Lying

Pathological lying goes way beyond those little white lies we tell to avoid hurting feelings. Here’s what makes it different:

When most people lie, they’ve got a clear reason — avoiding trouble, sparing someone’s feelings, or gaining some advantage. But pathological liars? They often tell elaborate stories without any obvious benefit[1].

Think of it like this: Regular lying is like using a GPS to take a shortcut — you’re trying to get somewhere specific. Pathological lying is more like driving around aimlessly, making random turns just because you can.

Key signs you might be dealing with pathological lying:

• You find yourself lying even when there’s nothing to gain
• Your stories tend to be dramatic and complicated
• Once you start lying, it’s hard to stop
• You often lie about being either the hero or the victim
• The lies just come naturally, without much thought

Next Steps

The journey to more honest communication isn’t about suddenly becoming a truth-telling saint. It’s about understanding why we lie and finding better ways to meet those needs.

1. Start With Self-Compassion

First things first — drop the shame. Pathological lying often develops as a coping mechanism. Maybe you learned early on that fantastic stories got you attention, or that lying helped you avoid conflict. These patterns made sense at some point in your life.

2. Understanding Your Triggers

Pay attention to when the urge to lie kicks in. Is it in social situations where you feel inadequate? Professional settings where you fear judgment? Or quiet moments when your actual life feels too ordinary?

The thing is, most pathological liars aren’t trying to hurt anyone — they’re trying to fill a gap. Maybe it’s:

• A need for validation that wasn’t met in childhood
• Fear of being seen as ordinary
• Attempting to control how others perceive you
• Protection against vulnerability

3. Building New Patterns

This is where real change happens. Instead of going cold turkey (which rarely works), try this approach:

Before speaking, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: “What am I trying to achieve with this lie?” Usually, there’s a legitimate need under there — for connection, recognition, or safety. The trick is finding honest ways to meet those needs.

4. Creating Safety in Truth

Start with one person you trust. Tell them you’re working on being more honest. Share something true that you’d usually lie about — maybe something embarrassing or ordinary. Notice how it feels. Often, people connect more deeply with our imperfect truths than our perfect lies.

5. Professional Support

Look, rebuilding your relationship with truth isn’t always something you can tackle alone. A good therapist won’t just help you stop lying — they’ll help you understand why you started. They can help you:

• Navigate the anxiety that comes with telling the truth
• Develop authentic confidence
• Build genuine connections
• Process any underlying trauma or fears

Whatever, change happens gradually. You might slip up. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s progress toward a more authentic way of living.

For Further Reading

1. 72+ Pet Peeve Examples: Common Annoyances We All Share!
2. Friends With Benefits (FWB): 9 Rules Make You Fully Understand It
3. 90+ Would You Rather Questions for Couples for Next Date Night
4. 27 Easy Ways to Look Older: A Raw Guide for Women