I will share 9 signs a man might be lying to you in this post.
These are cues he’s giving you or ways you might feel. They are good indicators that he probably is not telling you the truth.
1 He responds overly confidently when replying to your question
The first sign is that he is speaking too loudly. He’s speaking overly confidently.
If you ask him where he was last night, he responds that I was out with my friends, just like I told you. He’s being like unnecessarily aggressive to you. That’s one of these examples.
A core principle when a man is lying is that the best defense is a good offense.
Many times if men are lying, they will attack rather than diplomatically answer something because if they put you on the defensive, you will stop asking questions and hopefully not catch them in that lie.
So if he’s being too loud, overly aggressive, and overconfident about where he was last night, what he’s up to, or whatever else, it could be a sign that he’s lying to you.
2 His vocal cords tighten when replying to you
The second tip is the inverse of that to some extent.
If he’s clearly insecure about his words and be like, well, um, you know, I was out with my friends, and I was, you know, etc. He is just doing this so you can almost hear his throat tighten up.
If his voice gets a lot higher, and he’s like, why are you even asking me? If his voice gets tight or raises, that could signal his nervousness.
He needs to lie to you because he’s been caught in something untruthful. A man’s vocal cords will tighten when he gets nervous.
3 Your intuition feels his dishonesty
The third sign is that if you don’t feel safe with his response and something about what he shared leaves you uncertain, it’s your intuition.
Your body’s natural survival mechanism has been developed for thousands of years. The masculine is supposed to be a source of safety for the feminine.
If the masculine is lying or whatever else, the feminine is constantly evaluating, like, is this man safe? And if your body is starting to tell you when he’s explaining where he was or what he was up to last night, it’s not safe.
It’s a pretty good indicator that something’s wrong. So trust your body, the intuition.
The following caveat is to be wary of projection.
Sometimes we don’t feel safe about what our partners share with us. It’s probably because we’ve got past trauma, we’ve been hurt before, so we project that past trauma onto our current partner.
Ask yourself, is this past unsafety when he’s sharing with me? Is it coming from him and what he’s sharing, or is it just a potential trauma from a past partner projected onto this person?
4 He avoids eye contact with you
The fourth sign is a clear-cut physical sign that he may lie to you, which is avoiding eye contact with you.
It is a classic one. If you ask him a question like where he was last night, he says well, you know, I was out with my friends, I was doing this, I was uh bowling or whatever else.
In the process, he won’t make eye contact with you. It can be that he makes it for a second and then looks away, or he makes it for a second and then looks up or down.
It’s not normal for him. Usually, it’s a pretty good sign that he feels guilty holding your gaze because he’s telling you something untrue.
5 He gives you too much eye contact when replying
The opposite of the last point can also be true, and this is number five. Sometimes a man is lying to you while giving you too much eye contact.
It is what an experienced liar will often do because he knows that looking away and not being willing to make eye contact with you is a sign that he’s lying. So he will overcompensate and give you too much eye contact.
In many cases, it can also be a sign that a guy is really focused on making eye contact with you while telling his story about whatever happened.
He’s compensating for the fact that he’s lying. So be conscious of that significantly.
If he’s being too loud while making a lot of eye contact with you, he’s trying to overcompensate.
6 You find yourself rationalizing for him unconsciously
Number six is a big one. It is you find yourself making excuses and rationalizing for him.
You are justifying his behavior, like, of course, he was out until morning the next day. He’s got a big project coming up, and he’s been talking about this. He had to stay up until 2 am and whatever else.
I mean, a lot of times, if you find yourself making excuses for his sketchy behavior, or you find yourself making excuses and rationalizing what he has done to your friends and family, or you find yourself defending him against them, that can always a sign he’s lying to and betraying you.
Do you realize that you’re protecting him from his dishonesty? Ask yourself whether you have spent much time defending and rationalizing what he’s been up to.
The sixth sign is a big red flag to yourself or the people around you.
7 He gives you too many details in his reply
The seventh sign is that he uses too many details in his explanation.
He can explain the way, like, where was I last night? Well, first, I went out to dinner with Greg, Tom, and Harry. Then we went out for a drink in the rainbow room. We departed for another place after the drink was over. We did this, and we ended up with other people.
He’s got an itinerary of every little thing, and he feels he needs to tell you every detail about his doings and every person he has been with.
If a guy is hyper-detailed in everything, it can often be a sign that he’s trying to overcompensate and be aggressive as a way of lying to you.
8 His answer is too vague
The opposite side of the last point can also be proper as well. Number eight is that he gives you very vague information.
He says, well, we went to a restaurant, then to a bar, and met up with a couple of guys. He’s not willing to give you any specific details.
If you make a detailed inquiry, which bar did you go to last night? He responded that I don’t remember because it was late.
If he doesn’t remember any relevant details, or he doesn’t remember who he was with, most of the time, it’s because he doesn’t want to throw his friends under the bus.
If he’s lying and bringing in other people as part of his alibi, he wants to leave details out. So you can’t ask for those people and catch him in the lie.
Integrate the last two points. We know that if he’s being too vague or too detailed in his answers intentionally and unnecessarily, chances are he’s lying to you.
9 He gets defensive when you ask about him
The ninth sign a man is lying to you is that he gets super defensive when you ask questions.
He will start attacking you. If you ask where he was that night, and he’s like, why are you always asking me questions? Am I on trial here? Why do you never trust me? Why are you so crazy about where I’m at and where I’ve been?
If he starts gaslighting you or attacking you instead of giving you a reasonable explanation, it’s a guy who’s lying to you and knows the best way to neutralize your questions.
It’s better than him even having to come up with a lie just by attacking you, so you will feel bad about asking him what he’s got going on. The best defense is a good offense, and he doesn’t even have to come up with a lie.
Conclusion
Related post: Dating a Jerk? 7 Signs of Jerks & 3 Ways to Deal with Them
I want you to check in with and ask yourself if a guy’s giving you any of these nine cues because if he is giving you multiple ones, such as two or three of them, you definitely want to ask yourself what he is hiding.
Ask yourself, do I want to be in a relationship with someone dishonest?
Based on your intuition and the signs you get from him, if you genuinely feel he’s lying, you need to have a constructive confrontation with him.
I invite you to say I know you’re not being honest with me about this, and I don’t appreciate that because trust is one of the essential foundations of a happy relationship. If we can’t trust each other, our relationship is not working right.
There’s an opportunity for you if you genuinely feel he’s not being honest with you, vulnerably stand your ground with him and let him know how important trust is.
Invite him to be honest with you, and if he’s unwilling or unable to meet you there and you really feel like he’s continuing to lie and he’s doubling down on it, it is an excellent opportunity for you to walk away from that guy.
