What is a Unicorn in a Relationship? All You Need to Know

Have you ever heard the term “unicorn” thrown around in dating circles and wondered what it means? Well, you’re not alone.

The concept of a unicorn in relationships has gained quite a bit of attention lately, especially in the world of polyamory and non-traditional dating.

Let’s dive into this fascinating topic and unpack what it’s all about.

“Unicorn In A Relationship” Is …

So, what exactly is a unicorn in a relationship? No, we’re not talking about those mythical horned horses.

In the dating world, a unicorn is typically a bisexual person (usually a woman) who joins an existing couple for a sexual or romantic relationship. It’s like adding a dash of magic to spice things up.

But here’s the kicker – finding a unicorn is about as rare as spotting an actual unicorn prancing through your backyard. Hence the name. These magical beings are highly sought after but can be pretty elusive.

Let’s break down what a unicorn relationship actually looks like.

Picture this: you’ve got a couple, usually heterosexual, who decide they want to add some extra flavor to their love life. Enter the unicorn – ta-da. This third person becomes involved with both members of the couple, creating a triad or throuple situation.

But hold your horses (or unicorns). It’s not all rainbows and glitter. These relationships can get pretty complicated.

The unicorn is often expected to be equally attracted to both partners and to fit seamlessly into their existing dynamic. Talk about pressure.

Why the Hunt for Unicorns?

Hell, you are probably saying to yourself,” If I could be a unicorn that would be awesome. Or conversely, “Why do couples need one so badly?

Well, here are a few reasons:

1. Spice It Up

For some couples, the third person is what hot sauce is to relationship tacos. But let’s be honest: the most passionate relationships might begin to feel a little bit blah.

Bringing in a unicorn puts that spark back into your sex life and can make the bedroom (or anywhere else) fun again. It is like reliving your partner through someone else.

2. Curious about extra experiences

For some, it can be the way people explore their sexuality in these cases one might be curious about how a same-sex feeling may feel and so on.

Some say they have had fantasies or desires, but never acted on them, and being in a unicorn relationship may give them a chance to finally explore these feelings.

It’s a little like taking the risk and thrill of sex out back to play with it safely bound, your safety person just feet away but fully faithful outside your agreed space.

3. Fantasies Fulfilled

Who among us hasn’t harbored an idle threesome fantasy or two? Some people feel that it is the zenith of sex.

The unicorn allows a couple to experience this together without the potential risk of hitting on a stranger at the bar (or wherever these couples are meeting them).

4. Exploring Polyamory

Let’s be real: A lot of people first get into poly relationships this way, as a sort of intro to the concept. Think of it as putting your toes in the poly pool before taking that plunge headfirst.

A unicorn situation is that first foray into non-monogamy without having to date separately, and seems like a nice simple way for couples can assess their readiness to reform more traditional relationships.

5. Boosts the Relationship

One of the most interesting things that a couple discovers while practicing a threesome is bringing them closer to each other. It’s a lot of communication, trust, and honesty — which can only be good for any relationship.

Besides, it really is the bonding experience that takes us from acquaintance to friend.

6. A Rebuttal of Heteronormativity

Sought-after unicorns are probably the most intriguing reason why some couples decide to seek a unicorn as doing so can be an actual form of resistance against traditional relationship structures.

In much the same way, it’s kind of like saying “Who says love and intimacy needs to be limited only to 2 people?” Setting relationship rules feels badass.

However, the fact of the matter is this: while these experiences sound wonderful on paper, they can often be a little more complicated. It is not just getting someone to go to bed with you.

Struggling through mixed emotions, juggling stunted hope with wishful thinking and blind faith; make sure to foster an environment where everyone is known and acknowledged.

So if you are willing to do some unicorn hunting, understand the sacrifices that come with it…

The Unicorn’s Perspective: It’s Not All Fairy Dust

Now, let’s talk about what it’s like to be the unicorn. It might sound like a dream gig – two partners for the price of one, right? But hold onto your sparkly horn, because it’s not always a fairy tale.

Here’s a story that might shed some light. I once met a woman named Sarah at a polyamory meetup. She’d been a unicorn for a couple and boy, did she have tales to tell!

“At first, it was exciting,” Sarah told me. “I felt special, wanted. But then reality hit. I was always the third wheel, never quite equal. When the couple had a fight, guess who got pushed aside? Yep, me.”

Sarah’s experience isn’t unique. Many unicorns find themselves in a tough spot:

1. Power Imbalance

The original couple often holds more power in the relationship. It’s like being the new kid at school trying to join a group of best friends – you’re always playing catch-up.

Decisions about the relationship might be made without your input, leaving you feeling powerless and unimportant.

2. Emotional Rollercoaster

Jealousy and insecurity can rear their ugly heads. One minute, you’re on cloud nine, feeling loved by two amazing people.

The next, you’re watching them share an inside joke and feeling completely left out. It’s like being on a constant emotional see-saw.

3. Expectations Overload

There’s often pressure to be everything to everyone. You might be expected to fulfill both partners’ needs equally, which is about as easy as juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle.

Plus, there’s the added stress of maintaining the couple’s relationship while also nurturing your connections with each of them individually.

4. Disposability

Many unicorns report feeling like they’re treated as disposable.

If the couple decides the arrangement isn’t working, guess who’s likely to be cut loose? It’s like being on a perpetual probation period in your relationship.

5. Limited Future Prospects

Often, unicorns aren’t given the same consideration when it comes to long-term plans.

Want to move in together? Have kids? Get married? These conversations can get really complicated really fast when you’re the “extra” in a pre-existing relationship.

6. Secrecy and Stigma

Being a unicorn often means keeping your relationship status a secret from friends, family, and coworkers.

It’s like living a double life, which can be exhausting and isolating.

7. Emotional Labor

Unicorns often find themselves doing a lot of emotional heavy lifting. You’re not just managing your feelings, but also navigating the couple’s dynamics and insecurities.

It’s like being a relationship therapist and a partner all rolled into one.

But it’s not all doom and gloom! Some unicorns report extremely positive experiences. They feel cherished, desired, and free to explore their sexuality in a safe environment.

The key seems to be finding a couple who truly values you as an equal partner, not just a sexy addition to their bedroom.

If you’re considering being a unicorn, it’s crucial to advocate for yourself. Set clear boundaries, communicate your needs openly, and don’t be afraid to walk away if the situation isn’t serving you.

You’re not just a mythical creature – you’re a real person with real feelings, and those deserve respect and consideration.

In the end, being a unicorn can be a magical experience – but like all magic, it requires skill, care, and a bit of luck to pull off successfully.

So polish that horn, embrace your uniqueness, and remember: in the right relationship, you’re not just a fantasy – you’re a valued and equal partner.

Unicorn Hunting: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

This part is about “unicorn hunting“: It’s when a couple actively searches for their perfect third.

It’s like going on a safari, but instead of looking for lions, they’re after that elusive bisexual beauty who’ll fit perfectly into their lives.

Some couples approach this ethically, with open communication and respect for all involved. But others? Not so much. They might treat the unicorn more like a toy than a person with feelings and needs.

Here’s the deal:

These relationships are not defined as having a clear relationship hierarchy, yet research suggests that polyamorous relationships can be similarly high in terms of commitment and satisfaction compared to monogamous ones. [1]

So, it’s not all doom and gloom.

But, folks – unicorns are people, not Pokemon. You can’t just catch them all.

The Unicorn’s Dilemma: To Join or Not to Join?

If you’re considering being a unicorn, or if you’re part of a couple looking for one, here are some things to ponder:

1. Communication is Key: Talk, talk, and then talk some more. Clear boundaries and expectations are crucial.
2. Equality Matters: All parties should have an equal say in the relationship.
3. Emotional Check-Ins: Regular check-ins help ensure everyone’s needs are being met.
4. Respect Individual Relationships: Remember, in a triad, there are four relationships to nurture – each individual pairing and the group as a whole.
5. Be Prepared for Change: These relationships can evolve in unexpected ways. Flexibility is key.

Let’s be real for a second. Unicorn relationships aren’t for everyone. They require a lot of emotional maturity, excellent communication skills, and a willingness to challenge societal norms.

In 2021, a study conducted found that Polyamory interested only 16.8% which is not even close to bang average, and just over half of that number (10.7%) has been involved in some kind of poly relationship at one point in their life. [2]

So while it’s not uncommon, it’s definitely not the majority.

If you’re thinking about diving into the unicorn pool, ask yourself:

• Are you prepared for the emotional complexity?
• Can you handle potential jealousy and insecurity?
• Are you ready to challenge traditional relationship norms?

The Unicorn’s Toolkit: Navigating the Magical Waters

Alright, assume that you’ve decided to give this unicorn thing a shot.

Whether you’re the unicorn or part of the couple, here are some tools to help you navigate these magical (and sometimes stormy) waters:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: This is non-negotiable, folks. Everyone needs to know where they stand.
2. Practice Active Listening: Hear what your partners are saying, not just what you want to hear.
3. Embrace Flexibility: Things will change. Roll with it.
4. Cultivate Individual Relationships: Don’t neglect one-on-one time with each partner.
5. Seek Support: Consider joining polyamory support groups or seeking therapy from a poly-friendly therapist.

While polyamory is not limited to sex and transcends that, it’s a word that refers to all non-monogamous relationship models. [3] To put it plainly, there’s no black or white here.

As society becomes more accepting of different romantic and sexual expressions, the unicorn relationship is likely to become even more seen. Unfortunately, it does not mean they will get easier.

Estimates are that more than 1 in 5 single individuals had a sexual non-monogamous partner. [4] This indicates that nontraditional relationships are certainly more prevalent, but they just remain less likely to be viewed as the standard.

What will the future of unicorn relationships look like?

• Encouraging More Talk About Polyamory and Non-Monogamy
• You can much more about media and pop culture
• Societal Tolerance and awareness of cannabis

Nevertheless, more hurdles will still need to be cleared — mainly in the realm of parity, sentiment disorders as well as social obtainment.

The Bottom Line

So, there you have it – the magical, messy world of unicorn relationships.

Whether you’re a curious couple, a potential unicorn, or just someone trying to understand what the heck your poly friends are talking about, I hope this guide has shed some light on the subject.

There’s no one “right” way to do relationships. Whether you’re riding solo, paired up, or galloping along in a three-person rodeo, what matters most is mutual respect, open communication, and a whole lot of love.

So, if you’re thinking about embarking on a unicorn adventure, go forth and sparkle. Just remember to bring your emotional toolkit, a sense of humor, and maybe a magical horn or two.

After all, in the world of unicorn relationships, a little magic goes a long way.

For Further Reading

1. “Settle For Less” Definition & 5 Reasons It Ruins Your Life
2. Kindred Spirits Definition & 7 Signs When You Find Yours
3. Why is Everyone so Mean to Me? 25 Reasons & Help
4. 23 Reasons & Help For When “My Wife Yells at Me”
5. 11 Reasons & Help for When “My Husband Yells at Me”